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Self-Giving: Its Own Reward


Brenda is 80 years old. She had come to Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Las Cruces to ask for help in relocating from a substandard insect-infested living arrangement. When relocating to Las Cruces for health reasons, Brenda was not aware of the shortage of subsidized housing, and that waiting lists were long. Her only alternative was to cut a deal with a substandard motel for a weekly rate that almost completely ate up her fixed income. Getting around the City was also difficult for Brenda. She had access only to public transportation further limiting her subsidized housing options. Brenda braced herself each day for the many unknowns. There were the doctors, the prescription needs, the food needs, and clothing needs. Then there was the loneliness and the distance from far away friends and family. She remembers vividly the nights of unidentifiable frightening noises, the drunken screaming, the raucous laughter, all increasing Brenda's anxiety.

When I told Brenda "yes, Catholic Charities would assist with a security deposit on a decent place to live," the wellspring of her soul overflowed tears of joy. Her voice quivered. Brenda could now envision a clean, safe, and comfortable "dwelling place". She would now have the funds left a hobby or two in the last years of her life. She could envision herself making new friends and feeling normal. Brenda's first tears were tears of anxiety. The “yes” to Brenda created breathing room allowing her to transform brackish tears of anxiety, into crystal tears of hope. Finally, these tears of hope would nurture her heart's expectations that providence would resurrect joyous diamond-like tears from the well of her 80 year old soul.

It is said that tears flow within the veins of the soul. As the eyes are said to be the windows to the soul, so a river of tears can be seen through the eyes of the poor. At the headwaters of this river is a deep pool of a soul's wounded-ness, vulnerability, sorrow and pain. However, like water and salt make for buoyancy, so to, in this river seasoned by self-giving or an encounter with love (caritas, agape), are the soul's solaces, comforts, hopes, confidence, and even potential ecstasies that make for crucibles of endurance in faith.

But here is a twist you might not be expecting. The miracle of saying "yes" to Brenda or others like her is not so much the benefit of the "warm fuzzies" that can come from doing a "good deed." Rather, reflecting upon the plight of a brother or sister in need is a profound revelation that the person in front of you is a representative of a universal human condition which Jesus Himself did not abandon. Rather, He took this condition upon Himself totally as the perfect model of "self-giving." (Philippians 2:6-7)

The Peace Prayer says: "For it is in giving that we receive." Personally, I was more the beneficiary than the giver in Brenda's case. Brenda is more the giver. When ministers truly un-patronizingly serve the needy, a divine reciprocity is achieved. I have discovered that a gaze into the shining reflection of a tear shed by a person in dire need decreases the ego. The stripping of ego rips the dull distorting veil of selfishness from top to bottom. What is revealed is the purest example of God's creativity. In that holy of holies is found the simple soul, a clear reflection of the face of the self-giving Christ. (Matt 27:51)

To all you faithful in the parishes across this Diocese who give of self in your donations, time, and talent to St. Vincent de Paul, to Catholic Charities, and to your parishes, you indeed will encounter the trans-figurative power that faith-leaven can have upon the tears suffered by the poor, hungry, unemployed, homeless and imprisoned. (Psalm 80:4-6) The leaven of your self-giving consecrates the “bread of tears” transforming it into the "bread of life."(John 6)

Upon the altars of our everyday experience, we have the capacity to become mirrors of the transformative (metanoia) power of real self-giving. This blueprint of self-giving is embedded in the Mass, the Eucharist, and in simple prayers we say for those most in need. I can't help but recall my own grandmother Guadalupita faithfully fingering her Rosary beads and quietly reciting her Legion of Mary Tessera prayers all for her children and grandchildren. A grandmother always thinks her children and family are those most in need of God's grace, support and even intervention. In these actions, we fulfill our personal Baptismal calling to all be self-giving priests, prophets, and kings. I am certain Brenda, in her own way, says her prayers, not for herself, but for others in her uncertain world. The prayers of an 80 year old are closer to heaven after all.

“Yes–Amen.”

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